June 2009
1 post
May 2009
52 posts
f your l
fmylife:
Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying “Can we have sex” in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML
“A day without a laugh is a wasted day.”
– Charles Chaplin (via quotedropper)
fmylife:
Today, I went to my girlfriend’s Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a “suspicious male intruder.” When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML
would you rather...?
Would you rather
have eyes that always smile, or
or a voice that makes people calm?
Would you rather
be able to fly, or
have the ability to read people’s minds?
Would you rather
lose your keys three days in a row, or
have your dog eat your birthday cake?
Would you rather
have the power of invisibility, or
be able to produce sparks from your fingertips?
F your L
fmylife:
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend’s couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Top 10 Unusual Uses for Beer
10 Soak in it
Beer is an excellent skin conditioner. Next time you want to have a long soak in the bath, tip in a good can of dark beer before you hop in and just soak in it! This is a nice alternative to adding salt crystals (which soften water), but I see no reason that you couldn’t combine both for a super luxurious bath. Just don’t be tempted to drink the bathwater! Oh - and be careful if...
